Vicissitude
by Frog-kun
Summary: In a world where Kyousuke never discovered Kirino's otaku habit, Kirino is brutally and mysteriously murdered. Kirino leaves an enigmatic trail of clues behind pointing to her killer, but how can Kyousuke hope to find the answer when he never truly understood his own little sister? Character death, but not a bashing fic. No incest.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

When she was fourteen years old, Kyousuke's sister left to pursue track and field in America. No one was very surprised. Kirino was a miracle child. In a world where actions meant more than words, she could do no wrong. When she left her brother behind to pursue a dream she had every chance of achieving, it was just another chapter in the bright, neon-coloured book that was her life.

She never said goodbye to him. One day, she simply didn't turn up to the table to eat. "Where's Kirino?" Kyousuke asked, glancing towards the empty, pushed-in seat. It turned out Kirino had to leave early in the morning for her flight. "What flight?" he asked. No one had ever told him about it.

Even though they lived in the same house, they hardly ever saw each other. She lived her life and he lived his. When they did speak to each other, their conversations were short, terse and perfunctory. But even so, it was unsettling when she left. The house felt empty without her. He could never walk around inside it without inadvertently frowning. His sister's presence loomed in every nook and cranny like a spectre. When, in years to come, Kyousuke strained his memories to think of the last words he ever uttered to his sister, he would be unable to think of anything but dull, hollow static. It had been nothing important. When he thought of her, his mouth felt strangely bitter. It tasted almost like, of all things, betrayal.

Looking back, Kyousuke couldn't really say he knew who his sister was. Maybe, he thought, if he had known, everything that came next could have been avoided. Or maybe not. Even without knowing his sister, he knew perfectly well that she was the pivot point to everything in his life. There was no getting around it.

Even beyond the grave, it seemed, Kyousuke's sister never stopped stepping all over him.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Catalyst**

On the most memorable day of his life, Kyousuke couldn't remember what he had for breakfast.

He did remember having a test at school. That was a bother. He had never been good at tests. He got the median mark every single time, without fail. A couple of times, he tried to adjust how many hours he studied just to see if his ranking would change. It never did. He was so good at being average it was his special talent.

After the test, Manami came up to him as usual, her fingers knitted together and her wide, bespectacled eyes peering at him unassumingly. "How'd you go, Kyou-chan?" she asked sweetly.

Every time, she behaved as if she didn't know the answer. Kyousuke wouldn't put it past her, actually. Manami was the most cheerful slave to routine he had ever encountered. "Average," he replied, stifling a yawn.

"Oh, is that so? But you're happy with it, aren't you?"

"I s'pose."

"Good, then," said Manami, clapping her hands together and smiling. "Why don't we celebrate with cookies?"

"What for?"

"Well, we both passed, didn't we?"

"You just wanted an excuse to make cookies," he said.

Manami laughed sheepishly.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not really," he replied. Manami made good cookies. He chuckled. "You'd make a good housewife."

Whenever he said that, or something else along those lines, Manami became a little bit starry-eyed. "Really, Kyou-chan? You mean it?"

He wondered what kind of person would marry Manami. No doubt it had to be someone very normal. You couldn't get anyone more normal than Manami. She was so politically correct in her thinking that she seemed to possess no original thought. Kyousuke didn't mind that, though. He spent most of his time with her, after all.

Manami had mentioned cookies, so now, of course, the silent agreement was that he would be going to her house after school. He slung his school briefcase over his shoulder and followed her out of the classroom when the bell rang. Manami hummed a cheerful tune. Even though Kyousuke did not consider himself a particularly happy-go-lucky person, he couldn't help but smile a little too.

And yet he was very vaguely conscious of the idea that he was going through motions. The road to Manami's house was unchanged from the time they were children. Sunlight streamed across a quiet, suburban road. Nothing ever changed when it came to Manami.

"You know, Kyou-chan," Manami was saying, "it's been a while since you've come over this often."

"I'm not getting in the way?"

He knew what her answer would be.

"Oh no! Not at all! I'm fine with it! My family loves you."

He didn't deny that. Manami's family consisted chiefly of oddballs, but they were pretty open about their affections. "When's the wedding?" her grandfather would constantly ask Kyousuke. Yeah, he was a senile one.

Kyousuke could hardly explain his urge to be at Manami's house these days. He supposed it was because he found very little to do at his own house. There, he felt restless. If he tried saying that to Manami, though, she would definitely not understand. It wasn't like he was trying to avoid his parents; they left him to his own devices. And Kirino would still be gone for a year yet. She wouldn't be back until she entered high school.

Manami's house was peaceful. Kyousuke spotted Manami's little brother sitting on the steps. He appeared to be practising his yodelling. "Hey, guess what?" he said to Kyousuke with a grin. "I can sing and play guitar at the same time!"

"That's nice," said Kyousuke. "I can shit and breathe at the same time."

"You're, like, seriously talented, dude!"

Young Rock (as he liked to be called) was still singing Kyousuke's praises as Kyousuke and Manami walked into the kitchen.

"My brother is so embarrassing," said Manami with a sigh, after she had discreetly closed the door on him.

Kyousuke snorted. "I guess everyone has sibling problems," he said, thinking of Kirino.

"Yeah."

Manami was quiet for a moment. Kyousuke glanced at her. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"I hope you're not lonely, Kyou-chan," she said. "Your little sister's in America…"

Kyousuke waved his hand. "She never talks to me anyway."

It was just the same old.

"Still," said Manami, casting him a meaningful glance. "Siblings should be close, shouldn't they?"

"Not necessarily. Little sisters aren't all they're cracked up to be."

"Oh," said Manami.

"Anyway," said Kyousuke, turning around casually, "you're more of a little sister to me than Kirino is."

"Oh," said Manami again.

This time, she looked distinctly crestfallen.

"That's not good," she mumbled.

"Huh? Why not?"

Her cheeks were red. "B-Because," she said bashfully, "I'm not related to you, but Kirino-chan is…"

He patted her on the head.

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's not like I hate my little sister. Anyway, who wants to talk about their siblings all day? What about those cookies?"

"Oh, right," replied Manami, cheering up somewhat, though Kyousuke got the impression that she still wasn't quite satisfied. She rubbed her hands together and reached for the apron hanging on the door. "Let's make them now, Kyou-chan."

The afternoon passed by tranquilly. Sometime during the evening, Manami's father came home from work and Kyousuke helped carry some boxes from his truck inside the house. Everyone in the family got to have some of the cookies. Afterwards, Kyousuke watched variety shows with Manami's grandparents while Rock sang the theme songs in an off-key tone. Manami sat in the middle of it all, smiling pleasantly. Just an ordinary day for her, evidently.

When night approached, Kyousuke dragged himself off the couch with a sigh and announced he was going home. Manami's grandparents insisted that he stay, but there was no way he was agreeing to that today. It was a school day tomorrow.

Manami saw him off at the door with a wave.

"See you at school tomorrow!"

"Sure," he answered, smiling. "Later, Manami."

He wasn't smiling by the time he got home. His parents did not say anything to him as he walked in. They didn't seem to notice him at all – they were too busy on the phone. With a yawn, Kyousuke kicked off his shoes and made his way towards his bedroom.

… He paused before he entered and glanced to his left at the adjacent, unopened door. Kirino's room. Vaguely, he wondered how she was doing in Los Angeles. Probably taking the junior girls' athletics world by storm. She seemed to take everything by storm. That was probably her on the phone. Everything in his house was about Kirino.

It hadn't always been like that. When they were younger, it was different…

Whatever. With a sigh, Kyousuke placed his hand on the doorknob of his bedroom door. No use thinking about anything. He went home just to sleep there.

"Kyousuke!"

He jumped, startled at his name being called. "What is it, mum? I'm about to get changed."

"Come down," she said. "It's urgent."

Something in her tone made him obey at once. Something had happened. Kyousuke went down to the living room and looked at his parents with puzzlement. They were both looking very grave.

Actually, he thought, he had never seen them look more serious – ever.

"So what is it?" he asked, seeing as no one was saying anything for the moment.

His parents looked at each other.

"It's about your sister," his father said finally.

This wasn't like when Kirino had first gone off to America. Life went on after that. His parents hadn't been mad, or grave, or serious. They had been happy for her. But they did miss her; they said that all the time. No, this time it was different.

This time, his parents looked at him and only at him, and their faces seemed tired and their shoulders seemed to sag, as if they carried the weight of the world on their backs.

"What about Kirino?" Kyousuke asked, feeling his pulse quicken.

Somehow, he already knew what was coming before his parents opened their mouths. He thought of the worst. In his mind, it was only a vaguely conceived notion, completely removed from actuality. It wasn't enough to prepare him. Nothing could do that, not even reality itself.

"We got a call from the embassy," his mother quickly explained. "Something terrible's happened. They think it's murder. They found her body…"

Kyousuke blinked, staring. He didn't think anything in particular. He understood the words but the implicit meaning did not hit him.

"So wait," he said slowly. "What do you mean?"

He was taken aback when he saw his father let out an undignified sob. He was normally such a stoic and stern-faced man. Kyousuke could only stare in shock as his father wiped what was unmistakably a tear from his eyes. It took him a moment to even speak. When he did, he sounded more angry than sad. It was the only way he could express himself with words.

It was then that Kyousuke's father told his son the news that would change his life.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Kirino's Secret**

The facts, Kyousuke discovered later, were these:

Kirino's body was discovered at around 7:30pm in the changing room at her school's athletics track. She was found by a girl named Ria Hagry, a fellow athletics scholarship student. They had been running together until around 5:00pm that day, when Kirino walked off to wash her face. It was the last time she was ever seen alive. She had been shot in the head and stashed away into one of the shower cubicles, totally naked. The strangest part about the case was that it didn't appear that her body had been sexually violated in any way.

Right from the beginning, Kyousuke was struck by the singular peculiarity of the case. His parents said there were plenty of madmen in America who went around shooting people – look at all those awful Hollywood films and violent games they made over there. The typical argument made by overly conscientious elders. Kyousuke was not entirely convinced that this was the case. Because if Kirino's killer was a madman, why the deliberate placing of the body in a public area where he (or she) could risk being found? Why had the killer decided to strip Kirino without raping her? It didn't add up at all.

Maybe it was because of all these oddities, but Kyousuke found it difficult to comprehend that his sister was even dead. It just felt like a puzzle, a _story_ – nothing that was real. The details kept distracting him. He didn't see any photos or the body. It was all in his mind, he could convince himself on the good days. Maybe he wouldn't see Kirino again, but it wasn't like she was really _dead_.

His mother flew over to Los Angeles to identify the body. During that time, Kyousuke and his father had the house to themselves. His father sat around at the dining table tight-lipped and ashen-faced and he kept his hands clenched around a newspaper, staring at the words but not really reading them. They did not exchange any words. "Is she really dead?" Kyousuke felt like asking his father, but he knew that would only make him angry.

After several days, his mother came back home. She was well-stocked on information about the case, but she seemed so tired – perhaps from jet lag or from the sheer weight of her grief – that Kyousuke did not have the heart to ask her anything. So Kirino was dead, then, he decided. That was that.

No, it was still impossible to get his head around.

His mother, however, did tell him this: that the murderer hadn't been found yet, but the police were investigating a suspicious man who had been seen loitering in the neighbourhood several days before the crime was committed…

* * *

But days turned into weeks and nothing came of it.

Everything during that time was a blur. The next thing Kyousuke remembered was being dressed in black and how Kirino's best friend sobbed relentlessly against his chest and he just kept his arms at his sides and didn't do anything even though he was meant to have a huge crush on this girl. Ah, it was probably at the funeral.

"I loved her," Ayase sobbed helplessly. "I really, really loved her. Oh, Kirino. _Kirino_…!"

It somewhat occurred to Kyousuke that Ayase probably knew his little sister better than he ever did.

"Oh, that's nice," he said to Ayase vaguely. "Yeah."

"You jerk," she said, pulling away from him.

It seemed like the whole city had come to Kirino's funeral. Her classmates, her modeling associates, even some of the girls from Los Angeles – including the brown-skinned girl who had discovered her body. She was bawling into a handkerchief as the coffin-bearers passed by. There were just so many people in tears. Kyousuke was completely dry-eyed through it all.

"I don't get you," Ayase said to him. "It's like you don't care about Kirino at all."

Kyousuke gazed up at the sky. It was a fairly cloudy day, but not a trace of rain in the heavens. Kirino had died during the spring, when the cherry blossoms came alive with the promise of vivid new beginnings.

He looked at Ayase and shrugged his shoulders. He couldn't explain his feelings even to himself. This strange sense of detachment…

"I know," he said slowly, "I should be caring more than this…"

"You're a terrible brother," Ayase said, as if in sudden realisation.

He looked back at her. Her expression was in deadly earnest. "I think you're right," he admitted.

His own words cut through his numbness and struck at a hollow chord within him.

"She talked about you once," Ayase said suddenly.

That was unexpected. He hadn't known his sister ever mentioned him at all. "What did she say?"

"She asked if it was normal for siblings to be close."

"And what did you say?"

"I said I didn't know." Ayase looked away. "I'm an only child."

"So am I," said Kyousuke as he stared at his little sister's coffin. Ayase shuffled uncomfortably. After that, the conversation between them simply petered off into silence.

Kyousuke was left alone, just as he had been his entire life. The funeral was dreadfully boring. It felt like a black hole that sucked out every ounce of personality from everyone around him. Only the memory of his sister remained, circling around the gathering like one of those Dementors from Harry Potter. Kyousuke hated it. He wanted to go home.

Just as he was making excuses to his parents to get going, Ria Hagry approached him.

Under normal circumstances, it was very easy to imagine Ria would have been a very bubbly girl. Even dampened with a recent onslaught of tears, her eyes were still bright, the way only a young child could be. She was certainly younger than Kirino. No older than twelve was Kyousuke's summation.

She was still sniffling as she grabbed hold of Kyousuke's sleeve. It struck Kyousuke as such an inherently little sisterly act that he almost expected to hear Kirino's voice come out of her.

But that would have been preposterous on so many different levels.

"Something you want?" Kyousuke asked.

He wondered how it must have felt for Ria to come across Kirino's naked corpse. The thought was so macabre it made him shiver. Ria's eyes were bright, but they seemed_ too_ bright somehow. She didn't so much look at Kyousuke but past him, as if she was forever replaying what she had seen in her mind's eye.

Poor girl, Kyousuke thought. Anyone would be traumatised.

"Big brother," said Ria simply.

Kyousuke raised his eyebrow at her.

"That's what you are, right?" Ria went on.

"If you're talking about my relation to Kirino, then yeah."

"I was wondering what you'd be like," Ria said thoughtfully.

She seemed to regard him silently for a moment.

"Do you know who killed her?" she asked finally.

He blinked. "Of course not. That's the police's job."

Ria lowered her eyes and started chewing on her nails.

"She was fine just before… I want to race her again…"

Kyousuke knew she had probably been questioned to death about the day of the crime, but he couldn't suppress his curiosity. "Was Kirino acting strange at all the last time you saw her?"

"Nuh uh! We were racing and I beat her and she said, 'I want to beat you just once. I won't stop till I do.'"

So Kirino's death couldn't have been related to suicide at all. There was no way someone with depressive thoughts would have said something like that. Not that the case had ever seemed anything remotely like a suicide from the beginning.

"Sorry to bring up bad memories," Kyousuke said, feeling embarrassed suddenly. This kind of talk was much too dark to be having with a twelve-year-old.

But it seemed like Ria wasn't listening. She was still staring, glassy-eyed, at something unseen beyond Kyousuke.

"She was sitting so still with her arms folded. She looked so peaceful. I didn't think she was really…"

Really dead.

"Her arms folded?" Kyousuke pressed her, a thought striking him. What kind of position had Kirino been in when she died? Why would her arms be folded?

In his mind, he imagined what it would be like to be shot. The arms would naturally unfold themselves, wouldn't they? They would jerk out of position. Whoever had killed Kirino must have folded her arms afterward – it definitely sounded as if that person _wanted _her to be found. Like her death _meant _something. A symbolic gesture.

For the life of him, Kyousuke couldn't work out what it was. There was no meaning in death at all. He couldn't think something like that. Everything just felt so pointless.

Who could have _wanted _to kill Kirino?

As if perceiving his thoughts from the way he frowned, Ria nodded at him. "You'll find who killed her, right?" she insisted. "That's what big brothers do."

Kyousuke sighed. "I don't know what big brothers you've been looking at."

Right then, a tanned woman who appeared to be Ria's mother called out and with a slight wave to Kyousuke, Ria went away. Kyousuke was alone again, deep in thought.

Sometime after that, Manami found him through the crowd and kept telling him that nothing was his fault and that she was so sorry for his loss. Kyousuke said, "Uh huh," to her and made excuses to leave at the first opportunity. He was in no mood to talk to anyone.

* * *

It was only a day or two after that when Kyousuke overheard his parents talking about what to do with Kirino's room. They had no idea whether to clear it out or leave it intact for nostalgia's sake.

Personally, Kyousuke was all for clearing it out. He didn't want to keep thinking his sister would come home any day every time he passed her room on the way to his. He said this to his parents and, after thinking about it for a moment, they said it was worth looking through Kirino's room for the things they ought to keep.

It was a strange experience being in her room. He couldn't remember the last time he had been there. Kirino's personality was permanently embedded into the room and its girly pink decorations. It was Kirino as she had always been – the popular, hip girl, adored by everyone.

"Let's just keep the photos," Kyousuke suggested, looking straight down at the carpet.

His father did not respond. He had opened Kirino's extra closet.

"WHAT," he roared suddenly, "IS THIS TRAVESTY?"

Kyousuke almost jumped out of his skin.

"W-What is it?"

"Th-This filth!"

Kyousuke figured his father was probably overreacting. That was until he got a peek of the closet and saw what was inside. It couldn't have been more different from the rest of Kirino's room.

It was crammed full of otaku stuff. Figurines, games, DVDs, posters – Kirino's penchant for a certain pink-haired anime girl came across very, very vividly.

Wait… Kirino liked this sort of stuff?

Kyousuke was rendered speechless.

"We'll throw this out," his father said gruffly. He reached forward, his fingers outstretched, poised to tear down the mountain of figurines balanced carefully on the shelf. Kyousuke saw it all play out in his mind before it could actually happen: this was all Kirino's stuff, and it was going to get destroyed…

"No, wait," he said feebly.

His father glared at him. "What?" It was clear that the posthumous discovery that Kirino was an otaku had upset him greatly.

Kyousuke was unsure of what to make of the situation himself.

"They're… that's…" His mouth was dry.

Kirino was dead. She had kept this side of her hidden this whole time. He had never known…

His father raised an eyebrow. "Are we saying we should keep them? Nonsense!"

"I'm saying that uh…" But he had no idea what he was trying to say. All he could think of was Kirino. Wait, how would she feel if she knew all this stuff she had no doubt lovingly collected was going to be thrown away just like that? And yet what could he say? It wasn't like he knew his sister at all. He couldn't represent her feelings.

"Spit it out, son!"

No, he decided. He couldn't just throw it away. This was _Kirino's _stuff. It wouldn't be right.

"Actually, uh," he said quickly, "that's _my _stuff."

His father stared at him.

"Um, yeah," Kyousuke babbled, quailing a little under his father's wrath. "When she went off to America I, uh, hid it there so I could, uh, use her computer and…"

His father was looking at an R-18+ game called 'Little Sister Ero Heaven'.

"Get out," his father said.

"C-Can I keep my stuff?"

His father glared. Kyousuke stiffened.

"Just get it out of my sight," his father intoned finally.

Kyousuke needed no telling twice.

It took several trips to and from Kirino's room to transfer all the otaku merchandise onto his bed. When he finally did, he just sat cross-legged and stared at the stuff, unsure of what to do next. He couldn't explain why he wanted to hold onto _this _above anything.

No one had ever mentioned Kirino being an otaku to him. Did Ayase know? She certainly gave no hint about it. He tried to think about how he had always seen his sister. She was a scholarship athletics student, an A-grade student, a model in her free time. There were just so many layers to his sister – so many worlds that he would never belong to – and then there was this. The otaku stuff. The despised subgroup of humanity.

He tried to imagine his little sister clicking away, playing this eroge stuff. No way. But then, she had always locked herself up in her room whenever she was home. There was no way he could have known for sure what she was doing.

Well, there was only one way to find out…

It took him some fumbling with the discs before he could get one of Kirino's otaku games working on her computer. He picked one of the games where the cover looked relatively tame, just a cutesy-looking little sister character pressing her hands together and beaming. (Okay, little sisters were _nothing _like this, he thought.) A blue-coloured title screen popped up and Kyousuke squinted at it, feeling more lost by the second. He wasn't really interested in _playing_ the game, so he clicked the load button.

It looked to be one of those extremely boring text games where all you did was read stuff and look at pictures. If Kyousuke wasn't convinced that this was Kirino's game before, he had no choice but to face it now – the MC's name was written very clearly as -KIRINO-.

There were five save files. It turned out Kirino had clocked 25 hours on this game alone. Kyousuke tried to imagine Kirino playing avidly, her face showing an exuberance she had never revealed around him.

Was it possible that this was… an outlet for her? Why would Kirino want something like that? She was, well, _perfect_.

His curiosity was insatiable now. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen. Kyousuke opened each save file in turn, staring at the wide-eyed little sister character. She was nothing like Kirino at all. Nothing, _nothing _like her. And yet still, he could almost imagine Kirino reading aloud the little sister character's dialogue.

"Onii-chan, there's something I want to tell you…"

He opened the next save file.

"It's something important, so listen okay?"

And the next.

"Please believe me! I never wanted it to come to this! Onii-chan!"

The next.

"That bad man won't stop until he gets what he wants. I just know it."

The next.

"They're following me."

His hand shaking, Kyousuke closed the game window. He leaned back against the chair and stared vacantly up at the ceiling.

No way…

He was just imagining it.

His little sister couldn't be leaving a message for him.

It… had to be a coincidence. Yeah…

He shook his head. It was all too confusing. First, Kirino dying and now this. He wondered what would have happened if he had discovered Kirino's otaku things earlier, back when she was alive. Maybe it would have changed things. Maybe… they would have become closer. He felt his chest tighten and he tried to breathe.

No, it wasn't right to think about things he couldn't change.

He thought about the mysterious circumstances of Kirino's death, how there was so much about his little sister that he didn't know and was only just discovering now.

He stood up sharply. It might only be a hunch but he couldn't shake the feeling. There was something in this that was connecting the two of them together. He let his gaze sweep over the almost endless pile of eroge Kirino kept.

The answer was in there somewhere.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: He Who Plays Eroge**

"_Onii-chan…"_

"_Suzu-chan…"_

"_Onii-chan, I'm sorry. I have to go."_

"_No, Suzu-chan! You can't!"_

"_No, I'm going. I… can't be with you, onii-chan."_

_The little sister turned away, a glistening tear in her eye…_

_GAME OVER_

Kyousuke clicked the exit button on the game and sighed. Another bad ending. This was going nowhere.

The first thing Kyousuke discovered about eroge was that they were a lot harder to play than one would give them credit for. For low-budget games that consisted more of reading than actively making choices, the gameplay was surprisingly involved. It had been three days since Kyousuke had discovered his little sister's eroge and he still hadn't managed to get through a single game.

It wasn't that he lacked time. Oh no, he had all the time in the world. Because of his sister's death, he was given an indefinite amount of time off school. He spent it inside his room with Kirino's laptop, trying to work out the intricacies of eroge. So far, nothing was working.

It seemed like there were hidden numbers in the game – Affection Values, or whatever you call them – and that they fluctuated from seemingly random choices. It didn't have to do with being nice to the little sister character necessarily. Kyousuke had enough social skills to know how to suck up to a two-dimensional character. But if you picked just one wrong choice, the True Route would be closed off and from there you could only get the half-assed Good End or the downright terrible Bad End. In the end, Kyousuke resorted to looking up walkthroughs online and played the game with them open in another window. Slowly, he managed to get through his first game.

But, as he played more games on top of that, another problem emerged:

He was getting nothing out of it.

It turned out the dialogue in these eroge were all the same: hackneyed, clichéd lines of affection from googly-eyed little sisters. Kyousuke was starting to think that maybe his early assumption was wrong. There were no clues here. The plots all started to blend together in his mind. No matter how much he forced himself to concentrate he couldn't see anything his sister would have wanted him to know. Not in this creepy incest stuff.

He had been at it for almost a week when his parents called him from his room and announced that they wanted to take him out for dinner.

"Um, why?" Kyousuke asked blankly.

His parents glanced at each other before talking back to him. "We thought you might like to get out," his mother said.

Kyousuke kind of understood why his parents might be worried about him. He had done nothing but play little sister eroge after Kirino's funeral. That would worry anyone.

Even now, he couldn't help but think that it was his duty to get back to it. There wasn't anything else he could do for Kirino.

Nothing at all.

"I know people have different ways of expressing their grief," his mother went on, "but I thought the best thing we should do is get through this together as a family."

Kyousuke looked at his parents in turn and read the concern on their faces. For better or worse, he realised, Kirino's death had changed their family dynamic forever.

He knew that if Kirino was still alive, his parents would never have suggested spending time with him. It took Kirino keeling over and dying for his parents to notice that they had a son. Too late now, Kyousuke couldn't help but think. But he acquiesced to his parents with a shrug. Whatever made them happy.

Soon enough they were in a family restaurant together, deliberating on what to order on the menu, and the atmosphere was awkward. No one knew what to say to each other.

Finally, his mother said, "Kirino really liked calamari, didn't she?"

Her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"Yeah," his father grunted noncommittally.

Kyousuke buried his face behind the menu and tried to think of Kirino's eroge and not his parents' grief.

"A madman had to have done it," his mother was saying, "a serial killer. That's what the police think too."

Kyousuke broke his silence then.

"I think it was premeditated," he said.

"Don't be silly," his father retorted. "What do _you _know?"

Kyousuke looked down at the menu again, without really reading the words. What could he say? It all came down to a hunch he got from seeing a message that _maybe _Kirino had left for him. Maybe. He knew the police wouldn't be interested in eroge as evidence. The thought was actually pretty amusing, in a way.

But still, Kyousuke decided he didn't like the look in his father's eyes. He was being dismissed right off the bat.

"There's a lot," he said through gritted teeth, "that you don't know about Kirino. Like how she's an otaku-"

"Don't mix her up with your perverted habits," his father said irritably.

"Honestly, Kyousuke," his mother said, "I think you should stop playing those games. It's not healthy."

Kyousuke tried to look down at his menu again but now the words were really out-of-focus. He couldn't see them through the piercing white funnel vision caused by his sudden, searing resentment. He couldn't get Kirino out of his head. He knew what his parents were thinking, too.

"You're wishing that I died instead of Kirino, right? That's how it is!"

His parents were visibly startled.

Soon enough, the surprise was replaced by another easily identifiable emotion.

"You…!" his father roared. "Shut up! How _dare _you say that?!"

_Bingo,_ Kyousuke thought. People only got that defensive when someone else spoke a truth they were too afraid to admit.

"Calm down, calm down," his mother insisted, her lips distinctly downturned. With effort, his father restrained his anger, crossed his arms and turned his head away. The waiter was approaching them now.

Father and son didn't speak a word for the rest of the outing.

* * *

When he got home, Kyousuke went back to the games. It was the only way he felt close to Kirino.

He was starting to visualise her better these days. Creepy as these little sister games were, they were kind of sweet. Close siblings; an adoring little sister; a protective brother, reaching out to carry his sister on his back and protect her from the neighbour's barking dog – images of childhood seared themselves in Kyousuke's mind before he realised it.

He wondered if Kirino ever remembered, too.

"Hey, Kirino," he said aloud. "Were you ever lonely?"

No answer came. He was alone in the room.

Kyousuke felt stupid, but at least there was no one around to see him being foolish. He covered his ears with headphones and resumed the game. Slowly but surely, he was starting to enjoy them a bit more. He still needed the walkthrough, but he consulted it less and less as the days wore on.

One day, his mother came into his room announcing that there was a phone call for him.

Kyousuke was glad he wasn't playing through one of the racy scenes – not that there was much of a chance of that seeing as he'd altered the game settings to skip those. He turned around, regarding his mother with curiosity. "Is it Manami?" he asked. She usually rang later than this.

"No, it's Kirino's friend. Ayase-chan."

_Ayase?_

Kyousuke took the phone. "Yeah?" he said into it.

He heard her gulp. "Kirino's older brother."

Kyousuke glanced up at his mother, who was standing at the doorway peering at him with interest. He shooed her away. "Yeah, you want something?" he asked Ayase.

"I'm sorry," Ayase said.

"About what?"

"I said you were a terrible brother. I… I was being insensitive. I've felt bad about it ever since."

"Oh, that," said Kyousuke.

"You're not… mad about it?"

He thought of his father's anger at the restaurant. "How could I be mad over something like that?" Kyousuke asked. "It's true."

"No, no, it's not true. I'm sure if Kirino opened up to you, it would have been different…"

"But she didn't." Kyousuke stretched himself out on the bed. "Kirino was murdered."

He heard her breath hitch. "D-Don't say it like that."

"It wasn't a serial killer. It started in Japan. Kirino knew something was up before she even left." Kyousuke's brows knitted together and he sat up suddenly, unable to sit still. "Ayase, did she ever act strange before she left? You knew her best."

"No, not at all. I didn't see anything. I'm her _best friend _so I should… I should know." But Ayase sounded uncertain. "Why are you asking this? What makes you think Kirino knew?"

"She told me," Kyousuke said simply. "She told me in her eroge."

"Eroge?"

"Didn't you know? Kirino's an otaku-"

"No, she isn't," said Ayase, sounding confused.

So Ayase didn't know. Kirino had been keeping it a secret from _everyone_, it seemed.

Oh, Kirino.

"Well, she put this message in her eroge for me," Kyousuke insisted, but Ayase interrupted him with sudden vehemence.

"That's a lie! Kirino would never be into such repulsive things!"

Kyousuke blinked. "But it's true…"

"It isn't! You're a pervert! A freak! I take back what I said. You'd mistake a 2D girl for your own sister! Ugh!"

"No, hang on! You've got it wrong! I just-!"

But Ayase hung up.

Everything was ruined. Kyousuke dangled the phone in his hands and thought he heard his sister laughing scornfully at him.

* * *

In the end, he told Manami about it because he told Manami everything.

At her house, everything was the same old. He hadn't realised just how much he respected her normalcy when it was there in his face when everything else in his life had gone to the dogs. She treated him to some cookies and sat down on the couch and listened to him attentively when he told her there was something he wanted to say.

"You think someone planned to kill your sister?" Manami said, blinking at him with her wide eyes. "And she left you a message in her eroge?"

"You don't believe me, right? Her friend shot me down straight away. Even my parents…"

"No," Manami said seriously. "I believe you."

He looked at her with relief.

"But the thing is," he went on, his face clouding once again, "I don't think I understand this otaku stuff to _get _the whole message she might be sending."

"Hmmm?"

"Well, thing is, I think whoever killed her must've known about her hobby." The more Kyousuke talked about it, the more the idea formed in his mind. "I can't begin to work out the motive, but I can't help but think the two are related. And I think I can only get closer to the truth if I understand the world Kirino lived in."

Manami thought about that. "Why don't you ask on the Internet?" she suggested. "Join a chat group? If you join a group of female anime fans, you might find someone who might have known your little sister."

"Hey, that's a good idea," he said. "You're a lifesaver, Manami."

Manami smiled. "Whenever you need anything, just come to me."

If there was anything in the world he could count on, it was Manami and her simple, understated kindness. He was sure his friends at school weren't talking to him because they were trying to give him "space". He also knew that, before he knew the experience of his own sister dying, he would have done the same to them. But Manami made his business her business, and she had always treated him like he was special even when he wasn't.

That night, he slept in Manami's house in a futon next to hers. Now that his sister was dead, he knew without a doubt that he had been foolish to see Manami as a replacement for Kirino. Kirino was _Kirino. _No one could ever replace her.

He wondered what he would say to her if he _could _see her again. Just once. Just once, he wanted to talk to her and ask her what he was dying to know. _Who did it, Kirino?_

_Who killed you?_

He felt some shuffling in the darkness. Manami closed her hand over his. "Go to sleep, Kyou-chan," she said soothingly.

So he did.

Even if he could no longer think of Manami as his sister, it was all right. As long as things didn't change between them, it was all right.

It was all right.

* * *

He searched the Internet for an anime and manga chat group as soon as he got home.

He had no idea what to type.

_Hi there, my name is Kousaka Kyousuke. I don't like anime and eroge – that was my little sister's hobby, but she's dead now and I'm thinking I can find her killer through eroge._

Yeah, he was going to sound stupid.

In the end, he typed up a half-assed introduction saying he wanted to make friends for his sister and that he was interested in learning about anime, which was vague enough to be true. He didn't think anyone would actually respond to him, but within minutes, a message popped up from a user named Saori.

_Greetings, Mr. Kyousuke! Thank you for showing interest in joining our community. I think it is possible that we can become great friends. If you would like, please join us at our tea party next week. It is an open-group party that anyone is welcome in coming to. My sincerest regards, Saori._

Kyousuke was surprised. Social connecting wasn't that hard at all. It was a plus that this Saori lady sounded quite refined.

The meeting place was in Akihabara, which was about what you would expect from a bunch of otaku girls. At first, he got lost since he had never been to the Electric City before, but when he asked a helpful woman in a maid outfit on the main street, she gave him the directions and from there, it was easy.

The girl named Saori greeted him as soon as he walked into the door. She was totally different from his mental image – a tall girl with a very non-existent fashion taste and who wore coke-rimmed glasses. But she was nice and cheerful enough and she introduced him to the other girls in the room. Nobody seemed to show much interest him after he admitted that he didn't watch any anime.

"So where's your sister?" Saori asked him when the other girls had dispersed to chat amongst each other. "You mentioned you were doing this for her."

"My sister's… shy." He didn't want to mention that she was actually dead. "Listen, uh, there was an anime or an eroge that she was interested in. Um, uh…"

"Yes?" said Saori as she fiddled with her glasses.

Kyousuke shivered. He was recalling the crime photo. Kirino's sprawled out, naked dead body. "An anime or an eroge where someone died naked with, uh, their arms crossed? Sorry, I'm not being very helpful, am I?"

His heart thumped. He hoped with all his might that this Saori girl _knew _something.

"That's not very descriptive. I'm not sure anything comes to mind straight away," Saori admitted. Kyousuke's heart sank. Saori was peering at his face and he couldn't shake his own disappointment off it. "You seem like someone who is very driven," Saori remarked.

Kyousuke nodded twice. "I want to know. It's for my sister's sake."

"I wish I could help you…" Saori murmured. She frowned.

"That sounds like Stardust Witch Meruru," a voice uttered behind them.

Kyousuke blinked and turned around. The speaker was a very short black-haired girl who wore a black lacy costume that Kyousuke was pretty sure nobody in their right mind would wear down the street. It was probably that 'cosplay' stuff.

"Who're you?" asked Kyousuke blankly. He had already forgotten everyone's names.

"My handle name is Kuroneko."

_What, as in a Black Cat? _Kyousuke wondered.

"Oh, um," he said awkwardly, "okay."

"Hmph," said Kuroneko.

Saori was quick to salvage the situation. "What were you saying about Meruru, Miss Kuroneko?"

"Not that I watch that anime," said Kuroneko. "But the episode that aired last month spawned so many memes on 2chan it's ridiculous, frankly."

Kirino had died a month ago…

"Oh, come to think of it," said Saori brightly. "That did happen, didn't it? I heard the creators killed off Meruru."

"About time," said Kuroneko. "She was obviously a character created as a lust disposal unit for creepy older men."

"I heard they held a public funeral for her in Akiba after she died. The fans kicked up a huge fuss about it."

Honestly, Kyousuke had no idea what these two girls were talking about.

"So, uh, what does this have to do with anything?" he asked.

In response, Kuroneko took out her Smart Phone and started typing away on it rapidly. "Here," she said, holding it up for Kyousuke. "Have a look."

Kyousuke recognised the girl on the screen as one of the many figurines Kirino kept in her otaku collection. Kyousuke failed to understand the appeal of pink-haired girls – why was such an unnatural hair colour considered cute? But okay. To each his own.

What stood out in this picture was how the character of Meruru was naked and her arms were crossed over her chest.

Kyousuke realised the symbolism at once.

He stared at Kuroneko's face, his mouth agape. "What…?" he mustered weakly. "How…?"

"It's a screencap from the episode," Kuroneko explained. "That infamous death scene… Hmph. I wonder how they consider this a kid's show."

Kyousuke wasn't really listening to her. All his memories of Kirino played over in his mind like a reel. Had Kirino known? He knew she liked this anime from the figurines she kept. That had to mean whoever killed her was definitely some kind of otaku, right?

He suddenly felt very uneasy about where he was.

"Why the interest in Meruru, Mr. Kyousuke?" Saori asked politely.

"My sister…" Kyousuke gasped.

He had to think. To _think!_

"I need to know more," he insisted, grabbing Kuroneko by her shoulders.

Kuroneko looked perplexed, but she said calmly, "If you want to know more about it, you should look it up. I don't follow the anime so I can't tell you much more about it."

"This is for your sister, right?" asked Saori.

"Yeah," said Kyousuke, finally breathing out a little. He scrunched his eyes shut. "It is."

_Oh Kirino, what did you get yourself into?_

"Hmmm," Kuroneko mused aloud. Her voice sounded like a purr. "Interesting."

Kyousuke couldn't help it. He thought of Kirino and how she was dead and a chill went down his spine.

* * *

Kyousuke ran home from the station. Panting, he made his way upstairs into his room.

He barely heard his mother call out to him: "… was just here but she left." He didn't catch the name. Anyway, Kyousuke didn't care about anyone visiting him right now.

He opened the door to his room. Then he opened his cupboard where he kept Kirino's things.

_Stardust Witch Meruru… Stardust Witch Meruru…_

The photo. The ominous screencap. The death of a magical schoolgirl.

Kirino's Meruru merchandise would shed some more answers.

Kyousuke peered into the cupboard, squinted, and gasped. The figurines were gone.

He took out the DVDs, scanning every single cover. There was no Meruru to be found. Nothing at all. He could've sworn it had all been here before. The Meruru stuff had taken up pretty much a quarter of Kirino's entire collection, so he had noticed it. Now it was all gone.

He knew at once what had happened:

Someone had stolen the evidence. Someone who didn't want the answers to be found.

Someone he knew.


End file.
